


Until the Truth of It

by angelus2hot



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Action & Romance, Adventure & Romance, Canon-Typical Violence, Drama, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Relationships, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Minor Injuries, Minor Violence, Near Death, Original Character(s), Romance, Romantic Soulmates, Serious Injuries, Soulmates, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-09
Updated: 2018-11-09
Packaged: 2019-08-21 06:37:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16571522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelus2hot/pseuds/angelus2hot
Summary: After John is mortally wounded trying to save a little girl's life he finds the one thing he didn't know he wanted and it's the one thing he doesn't want to live without.





	Until the Truth of It

**Author's Note:**

> **Title:** Until the Truth of It  
>  **Fandom:** Stargate Atlantis  
>  **Characters/Pairing:** John Sheppard/Ronon Dex  
>  **Rating:** PG-13  
>  **Word Count:** 9,721  
>  **Summary:** After John is mortally wounded trying to save a little girl's life he finds the one thing he didn't know he wanted and it's the one thing he doesn't want to live without.  
>  **A/N:** written for hyx_sydin's gorgeous art at sgareversebang
> 
> **Link to art:** https://hyx-sydin.livejournal.com/9316.html

“Have you heard anything yet?” Ronon and Rodney asked in unison as they rushed into her office.

Elizabeth shook her head as she glanced at her watch. “No, I haven’t heard anything.” He should have called in a couple of hours ago. And she was beginning to get concerned. It wasn’t like John not to keep in contact unless for some reason he couldn’t.

“What do we do?” With his body full of nervous energy, Rodney bounced on the balls of his feet as he spoke.

“I’m not sure yet.” 

_She wasn’t sure?_ Ronon clenched his hands into his fists at his sides. _She might not know what to do but he most certainly did._ They should go after Sheppard now. There was no time to waste. He started to turn towards the door.

She stood and placed a placating hand on Ronon’s arm to stop him from leaving the room. “I know what you’re thinking, Ronon. But we don’t have enough information to send more men in.” The last thing she needed to do was send more men in to an ambush situation. “What we need is more....” 

“I’m not asking for more men. I’ll go myself and bring him back.” 

Elizabeth shook her head. “Ronon, I can’t...”

Whatever she was going to say was lost as Chuck called out, “Incoming transmission.” He glanced down at the table. “It’s the Colonel’s IDC.”

A wave of relief washed over Ronon almost bringing him to his knees. He ran his hand through his hair as he leaned against the doorway and prayed no one noticed how his hand had begun to tremble.

“Thank God.” Elizabeth muttered beneath her breath as she all but ran out of her office with Ronon and Rodney hot on her heels.

 

Ronon and Rodney rushed down the stairs two at a time in their haste to get to John. But standing in the spot where John should have been was a complete stranger. _What the hell was going on? Where was John?_

Elizabeth stared at the stranger standing in front of her. She was beyond confused. _Who was this guy and why did he have John’s gate code?_ “Who are you, Mr....?”

The man quickly held up his hands as he nervously glanced at the amount of weapons aimed at him. “My name is Nashir.” He supplied quickly. “Just Nashir. I’m from the world Alraign and I’ve come about one of your own. There’s been an....” He swallowed hard. He didn’t want to lie and say it was an accident but he wasn’t sure how much detail he should give especially considering the terrifying look the big man was giving him.

_John._ A sick feeling of dread welled up in the pit of Ronon’s stomach as he listened to the man speak. “What happened?” He whispered softly through clenched teeth.

Nashir turned to face the female. “The thing is we tried to warn him not to go past the....” Once again he swallowed hard. “But he wouldn’t listen to any of us. He had to go help anyway.”

A look of confusion crossed Ronon’s face. “Help?” 

The man nodded. “Yes. Everyone one in our village knows not to go past the boundary line. Not for any reason. But a day ago Tamake, a little three year old girl ran over the line to get her doll that had somehow landed on the other side. She was only across the boundary for a second when the creature came.” He stared at the men watching him. Nashir could see the judgement written plainly on their faces. “She knew the rules but...”

“Hold on.” Ronon couldn’t believe what he was hearing. _How in the hell did they expect a three year old to know much less remember the rules?_ “Are you telling us that you and everyone in your village let this creature have the little girl?”

The man blinked. “Were we supposed to risk more lives to save one?”

Almost before the question was out of the man’s mouth Ronon, Rodney and Elizabeth all nodded their heads and replied in unison. “Yes.” 

“It is not our way.” Nashir shrugged. “Besides the girl was only 3 if she had died the parents would have soon replaced her with another.”

_That son of a... _Ronon’s brow furrowed in anger as he clenched his hands into fists at his side. It was all he could do to keep from punching the unfeeling man in front of him in the mouth. He had never heard anyone speak so callously about a little child before, on his planet children were considered a blessing to be treasured not something that could be tossed aside so easily. He barely managed to keep his anger under control. _Wait. He said if.___

__As a vicious snarl began to rumble in the big Satedan’s chest Rodney quickly spoke up before Ronon could say anything. “You said if. So what happened?”_ _

__“Your friend, this Sheppard ran across the boundary line, scooped Tamake up into his arms and started running back towards the line but the creature was too fast. He barely had enough time to throw her towards us before it was upon him. We managed to get her to safety with minor cuts and bruises but...”_ _

__Ronon shook with anger. He couldn’t believe no one offered to help John, not one person tried to save him. “What about Sheppard?”_ _

__“We tried to warn him.” Nashir repeated softly. The last thing he wanted was to start trouble. He couldn’t see how any of this was his or his people’s fault. After all they had warned him repeatedly. They shouldn’t be to blame for his purposely ignoring the warnings._ _

__“How bad is it?” Rodney’s voice was quiet almost as if he wasn’t quite sure if he really wanted to know the answer to his question._ _

__Nashir didn’t really want to answer that particular question. He didn’t know how they would take the news. But at the determined look on all three faces he took a deep breath before he continued, “He had various injuries, broken bones, deep lacerations...” He swallowed hard before he stuttered, “And... and.. a... a punctured lung.” At their collective gasp he quickly added, “All of it has been or is in the midst of being repaired as we speak.”_ _

__Ronon blinked. He was at a complete loss. If this was true then it was good news but it didn’t explain the nervousness the man exuded out of his pores. There was more to what the man was telling them. “What’s the rest of it?”_ _

__He blanched. He’d hoped they would take the news he’d given them and not ask anymore questions. But apparently he should have known better. Nashir almost glared at the big man beside him but quickly thought better of it. “Your friend is in a.....” He paused to try and think of the correct word to use. “He’s in a coma.” While it wasn’t quite right it was close enough._ _

__“But that’s natural after the trauma he’s endured, isn’t it?” Rodney glanced over at Elizabeth for conformation._ _

__Nashir shook his head. He didn’t know what was natural on their world but on his a coma was the last resort for a medical condition. “Our...” He paused for a moment as he tried to remember the words he needed to use to describe their healers. “Our medical team had to put him in a....”_ _

__A look of understanding crossed Rodney’s face. “A medically induced coma.” He supplied helpfully._ _

__Although, Ronon knew it wasn’t good he still couldn’t shake the feeling there was more to the story._ _

__At the piercing glare from the one called Ronon he quickly cleared his throat and hastily began to explain. “The coma that you have here is something all together different on my world.”_ _

__“How do you know about a coma then?” Rodney’s curiosity got the better of him._ _

__The man smiled. “I was chosen to make contact but I had no skill in your language so before I came on my journey through the Great Circle it was given to me. But I haven’t had enough time to completely grasp it. So although, I mostly understand the words I’m saying I might not understand each individual meaning.”_ _

__Another snarl rumbled in Ronon’s chest and Elizabeth was beginning to see his point. Being given tidbits of information was beginning to get on her nerves too. “Would you mind just telling us everything all at once.”_ _

__“Of course.” Nashir inclined his head. “Your Colonel is locked in what we call The Hall of Dreams.”_ _

__Rodney with his hand raised opened his mouth to speak but before he could say anything Ronon jerked his hand down and nodded for Nashir to continue._ _

__“The Hall of Dreams is usually reserved for men who have reached maturity and want to find the other half of themselves.” Nashir thought for a moment before he added, “What you call their soulmate.” At the look on the faces surrounding him he rushed to explain. “His injuries were very bad...” He thought for a moment. “Mortal is the word I’m looking for. Our healers needed him quiet and they needed him still. This was the only way we knew to help. He...”_ _

__Confused, Rodney quickly interrupted. If there was one thing he hated it was being confused. “Let me see if I understand this correctly.” He cleared his throat. “In order to save John’s life you put him in sort of a dream world.” At the man’s nod Rodney continued, “And he has to decide who is the love of his life.” The man nodded again and Rodney couldn’t help but snicker. _Oh, he bet Atlantis’ Captain Kirk was going to love that.__ _

__“Rodney.” Elizabeth admonished softly._ _

__Rodney bit back another snicker as he fixed her with his most innocent look. Like she didn’t know John was a connoisseur of lovers. But everyone knew he didn’t want a relationship, especially not a permanent one. The man was destined to be a lifelong bachelor, or at least that’s what John wanted everyone to believe. “What?” A question was nagging at him. “How long will John have to be in this Hall of Dreams?”_ _

__Nashir stared at him blankly. He would have thought the answer was obvious. “Until he knows the truth of it.”_ _

__Once again Rodney was confused. “The truth of what?”_ _

__Nashir opened his mouth but quickly shut it before he could speak. He took a deep breath. “In simpler terms he has to find his other half.”_ _

__“What happens if he doesn’t?”_ _

__The man blinked in surprise. They had never considered that. No one in the history of their world had ever not found their other half. _Was their something wrong with their friend?_ “Is there some reason that you think he wouldn’t?”_ _

__The three of them shrugged but didn’t say anything. It was fine for them to joke about John and even compare him to Star Trek’s famous Captain Kirk but no one else was going to._ _

__Rodney counted to ten to make sure his face was the picture of innocence with no trace of laughter before he asked the next question on his mind. “And if the man doesn’t want to find his other half?” He would be willing to bet that it was the last thing John would want._ _

__“The man would know not to enter The Hall of Dreams until he was ready especially since once entered it cannot...” And then it dawned on him what they were getting at. _Oh._ Nashir was beginning to see their point. “Do you think Sheppard wouldn’t want to find his other half?” He was beginning to think what they had done wasn’t the best idea but they honestly hadn’t had a choice. If the healers and the elders hadn’t agreed to allow Sheppard to enter the Hall he would have died._ _

__“I think it’s time to go get Sheppard.” Although, Ronon managed to keep his tone civil he was unable to control the demand in his voice. He was done listening to excuses. His fingers tightened on the huge gun on his hip. He was going to John one way or the other._ _

__Rodney nodded his head in agreement._ _

__Without a word Elizabeth glanced over at Chuck and waited impatiently for him to dial out. They were going to see John for themselves._ _

__

__Slowly, John opened his eyes and looked around. _Where the hell am I?_ After the attack he would have thought that every muscle in his body would be screaming in protest but he didn’t feel anything. As a matter of fact there wasn’t a mark on his body. _What the hell?_ _ _

__John stared at the row of doors on either side of him. They stretched for what looked like miles with no end in sight. _What in the hell was going on?_ “Hello?” He called out as he started to walk down the hall. But there was no answer only his voice echoed around him. _Where was he?__ _

__He stopped in front of a very light blue door. Before he could stop himself he reached out and turned the handle._ _

__A loud giggle quickly hushed greeted him._ _

__”Shhh.” He scraped the side of her neck with his teeth. “You have to be quiet. If your dad hears us he’s going to kill me. And then I couldn’t do this.” His warm breath tickled her bare skin as he spoke._ _

__The girl blushed to the roots of her hair as she leaned closer, urging him without words to continue. “Sorry, but that tickles.”_ _

__He swiftly ran his tongue slowly along her collarbone before dipping lower. “How does this feel?”_ _

__As the keening sound that issued from her throat threatened to grow louder he only had one choice. He quickly slid his arms around her, pulled her close and lowered his mouth to hers._ _

__With a smile on his face once again John backed out of the room and softly shut the door behind him. He didn’t need to see or hear what had happened next. He could remember it all vividly... very vividly._ _

__If bits of his life were hidden behind a door and this one had shown him his first time he couldn’t help but wonder if his first time with... He rushed to the next door. As he turned the knob the door opened with a squeak. But the noise didn’t faze him, he was too busy being mesmerized by the scene unfolding before him._ _

__“You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.” The deep voice coupled with the piercing blues had made him forget all about being nervous. “We could go watch a movie or something...”_ _

___Was he out of his mind?_ There was no well in hell John was going to miss out on... “I want to.” John whispered softly._ _

__“You do?” Nick’s voice was just as soft in surprise._ _

___He had to be kidding. What red blooded male or female for that matter could resist the six foot four gorgeous specimen of manhood?_ “Have you seen you?” John watched fascinated as Nick’s face began to redden. “Teach me?”_ _

__The sound of Nick swallowing hard echoed around the room. He nodded in agreement and without a word he pulled John into his arms._ _

__John had often wondered if that night had looked as hot as it had felt. He was pleased to see that it did. As a matter of fact it was all he could do to keep from trying to join in. He wasn’t one to want to relive the past but in this instance he would gladly make an exception._ _

__With one last longing filled look John sighed and shut the door._ _

__He began to whistle a jaunty tune as he continued to open door after door. Although he still wasn’t sure what was going on or why he was there he was beginning to see a pattern. It looked like behind each door there were bits and pieces of his life. Or at least the part of his life that was all about sex. The further he traveled down the hall the more.... naughty the memory became._ _

__There was only one thing to do. He had to test the theory._ _

__Curiosity thrummed through his veins as John crossed the hall and turned the knob on another door. At the carnal scene before his eyes John’s mouth fell open and he blushed to the roots of his hair. He was rooted to the spot, unable to force himself to look away._ _

___Mmmmm... Cameron Mitchell_ _ _

__Their affair had been wild, passionate and the stuff they had done together was probably illegal. If not it definitely should have been. The things Cam had taught him... hell, the things he had done to him still had the power to make his knees go weak and his cock hard and aching. John’s breathing increased as he continued to watch the scene unfold._ _

__If he stayed much longer he would be on the verge of embarrassing himself. He had to get out of there. John swallowed hard, adjusted himself and hastily left the room._ _

__With his body still humming from remembered passion John walked slowly down the hallway. _Why were there so many doors?_ It wasn’t as if he’d had that many lovers. Although his best friend Rodney would most definitely disagree with that thought. As a matter of fact he would probably laugh his ass off._ _

__It had been said more times than John cared to count that he’d had more than his fair share of lovers. It had even been implied by some who shall remain nameless that he'd had more lovers than Imelda Marcos had shoes but of course that was a wildly exaggerated number._ _

__He smiled in amusement at the thought as he stopped in front of the next door. The smile on his face widened as he slung open the door. His eyes grew large and his smile froze at the scene before him. _What the hell was going on?_ He and Ronon, their bodies glistening with sweat lay tangled in bed sheets. _How could this...? When did they...?_ Unfortunately that had never happened. A loud moan echoed through the room. As his eyes glazed over at the sound an answering moan was ripped from his throat. It took every ounce of his willpower to keep from walking across the room and seeing if it felt as real as it looked. _ _

__A harsh sound rumbled in his throat. What he wouldn’t give to taste the moisture on Ronon’s skin, to feel his muscles bunch as he slid his hands down the big Satedan’s body. But of course that was not to be. Not that he would be adverse to... John swallowed hard, the sound echoed through the room. With a harsh longing filled sigh John softly shut the door._ _

__The next door John opened he saw himself chained spread-eagle in the middle of the room with Ronon standing behind him._ _

__“Are you sure about this?”_ _

__John nodded his head eagerly at the same time the other John, the luckier one with Ronon standing behind him nodded his._ _

__“John.” Ronon whispered his name in warning but didn’t say anything else._ _

__“I’m sure.” John whispered softly._ _

__Ronon gave him a small smile. “What’s your safe word?”_ _

__The chains holding John rattled and his harsh, guttural groan filled the air._ _

__John’s breath escaped in a hiss as he quickly backed out of the room and shut the door. He couldn’t stand to watch anymore of that. He was likely to explode if he did. He paused for a minute to compose himself before he began to walk down the Hall._ _

__

__The trip through the wormhole didn’t take them hardly any time at all but it was still too long for Ronon. Every second away from John when he needed him was way too long._ _

__A loud, angry sound, the kind they had never heard before greeted them the moment they stepped out of the wormhole._ _

__“What was that?” Rodney, with his eyes wide, glanced around nervously._ _

__Nashir didn’t bother to turn his head. He was used to the sound. He had heard it all of his life. “The creature is coming.”_ _

__The words had barely left Nashir’s mouth when the creature roared into view. Its black and red body glistened in the midday sun as it skidded to a halt less than twelve inches from what was supposedly the boundary line. Although how it could know was anyone’s guess._ _

__Ronon stared at the creature with his mouth agape. It was the biggest, meanest looking creature he had ever seen in his life. “Why hasn’t anyone killed this thing?”_ _

__A stunned gasp went through the men. _Kill the creature?_ It was the older man’s turn to be shocked. “We could never do anything like that.”_ _

__A sigh of exasperation left him. _What in the hell was wrong with these people?_ “Why not?” Ronon didn’t see the problem. He couldn’t think of one reason why they couldn’t kill the creature that had attacked Sheppard. Unless the inhabitants of the plant thought it couldn’t be killed. Ronon would like to be the one to find out. _If it can bleed it can be killed.__ _

__Before the man could answer another man with long, snow white hair and a long beard to match placed a placating hand on his shoulder. “I’m called Vanshir. And to answer your question the creature gives us life.” At the growing look of confusion on Ronon’s face he quickly began to explain. “This world’s atmosphere should be toxic but because of the creature we can all live here quite comfortably.”_ _

__“What happens if the creature dies?”_ _

__The man shrugged. “If it hasn’t brought forth new life than this planet and everything on it would die a horrible, painful death.”_ _

__“Babies?” Rodney tried to suppress a shudder as he whispered the word through clenched teeth. The last thing he needed to think of was that thing having little ones. “How does it...?”_ _

__But before Rodney could finish his question Ronon interrupted, “We’re here for Sheppard, remember?” He knew if he hadn’t interrupted Rodney would have kept them there for hours with his questions and he honestly didn’t care one little bit how that thing had babies._ _

__“Yes, of course. If you will follow me.” Vanshir pointed in the general direction before he quickly turned and started walking towards where their friend was being kept._ _

__

__A few minutes later they walked into the room where John lay still and silent, his body wrapped in more bandages than either of them wanted to count._ _

__“Is he...” Rodney whispered the question softly just in case it would disturb John._ _

__Vanshir shook his head. “Your friend is fine.”_ _

__Ronon’s eyes darkened. _How could the man say John was fine? There was nothing about this situation that was fine, least of all John_ There was no doubt what he was thinking, his thoughts were plain on his face as he glared at the older man._ _

__A younger man might have quaked at the look the big man was giving him but Vanshir was older, he’d survived the wrath of two jealous wives and lived to tell the tale. After that nothing could worry him. “I meant your friend Sheppard would be fine as soon as his wounds are completely healed. And as long as he lies still his recovery will happen even faster._ _

___This shouldn't have happened._ The longer Elizabeth stared at John the more determined she became. She was going to make sure something like this never happened again. But she was going to need help. “Rodney, I need you to come with me.” She turned to Ronon. "Ronon, I want you to...” Before she could finish whatever it was she was about to say Ronon interrupted._ _

__“I’m not going anywhere.” Without another word he sat down on the edge of the bed beside John, crossed his arms over his chest and silently dared anyone to try to move him. Ronon wasn’t about to leave John’s side. The one time he let him go off without him this is what happened. He wouldn’t make that mistake again. Not ever._ _

__“Okay.” Elizabeth hastily agreed. Although she got the feeling that it wouldn’t have mattered whether she agreed to it or not. The Satedan wasn’t leaving John’s side. “Let me know if there are any changes.”_ _

__Ronon gave her a barely perceptible nod. He didn’t even notice when they left the room all of his attention was on John._ _

__A barely heard groan whispered from John’s throat and Ronon gently squeezed his hand. He didn’t know what was happening with John or what he was doing. All he could hope for was that John wasn’t in any pain._ _

__His thumb slid across the back of John’s hand as he spoke. “I’m here and I’m not leaving you.”_ _

__

__With the last scene between him and Ronon fresh his mind John hesitated for a brief moment before he slowly reached out and opened the door._ _

__Inside of a small room Ronon sat in large chair with John kneeling on the floor between his legs. John moaned as the big Satedan’s hand cupped his face, his thumb grazed his bottom lip before sliding it up to grasp a handful of John’s hair and urge him to lower his head._ _

___What in the hell was happening?_ John shut the door with a snap. He had almost watched himself give Ronon a blowjob. What he had just seen wasn’t real. He knew for a fact that it wasn’t. But yet he knew exactly how Ronon’s hands had felt tangled in his hair and he would never forget the taste of him on his tongue._ _

__He leaned back against the wall and tried to calm down. He and Ronon had never, not once since they had known each other given in to any dark desires. He didn’t even know if Ronon held any desire for him. _Then why were there memories of Ronon behind the doors?__ _

__There was no denying that Ronon was a very attractive man. But if there was one thing John was almost positive of and that was Ronon wasn’t the type of man you could just walk away from when the fun was over. No, that man was definitely more on the permanent side. And that wasn’t something John wanted._ _

__“Oh, please. Do not kid yourself, John Sheppard.”_ _

__John jumped like he was shot. _What the hell?_ He quickly spun around to face the man who had spoken. “Who are you and what in the hell am I doing here?” He fired off the questions in quick succession._ _

__The man dark eyes flashed. “You may call me Eros.”_ _

___Eros? As in the Greek God? Just where in the hell was he?_ “Ummm...”_ _

__Eros laughed out loud. It wasn’t hard to see what had John uncertain. “I’m not that Eros. It’s my title. Not my name.” At the look of confusion on John’s face he quickly added, “I’m the keeper of this hall. I help those who come here to recognize with whom their passion lies. I usually only show myself to those that call for help. But since you’re not part of our world I was sent to help you sooner than expected.”_ _

__“Okay, but that really doesn’t tell me much, does it?” John stared at the man standing in front of him. “Can you just tell me what is going on?”_ _

__“But of course.” Eros gave John a reassuring smile. “This is the Hall of Dreams, in it you will find your other half.”_ _

__John blinked rapidly. _Other half?_ He really hoped that didn’t mean what he thought it did. After all he was a bachelor, he liked it that way and he wanted to stay that way. There was nothing he liked more than being able to come and go as he pleased and with whomever he wished. “My what?”_ _

__“Your other half.” Eros repeated the words slowly. He mistook John’s silence and the blank look on his face, he quickly explained, “Your other half is your soulmate. The person you are destined to be with for all eternity.”_ _

___Damn._ He had really hoped he was wrong._ _

__Eros ignored the look of utter disappointment on John’s face. After all he didn’t understand what being here meant, the honor he had been given. It wasn’t every day that a stranger to their world was given access to the Hall of Dreams. Of course John had to be hurt and require major surgery for it to happen but still that didn’t diminish the honor bestowed on him._ _

__“Thanks but no thanks. If you’ll show me the way out...” John tried to keep his tone polite but he’d really had enough for one day. He just wanted to get back to Atlantis and forget any of this nonsense had ever happened._ _

__A gasp filled the air. Eros couldn’t believe what he had heard. No one as far back as he could remember had ever refused their other half once they had entered the Hall of Dreams. _Perhaps the stranger thought himself already in love with someone else._ Eros nodded to himself. _Yes, that must be it._ “Please don’t worry. If you are already ‘in love’ with someone the chances are they are your other half.” He paused and took a deep breath before he quickly confessed, “Although, there have been a few instances where the man was sure the one he was with was his other half but the Hall of Dreams had showed him someone else.” Eros shuddered at the memory. Those times had never went well for anyone._ _

__John held up his hand to stop the man. “I’m not in love with anyone and I have no desire to be.” He would readily admit since he had come to Atlantis he had taken a few sexual partners to his bed but only those who knew the score and didn't expect anything else from him but a great time; because anything else was strictly out of the question. Love had never come easy to him. Not the sex part that most people confused with love that he had in spades but the deep down, can’t live without you kind, that made your heart flutter and your knees weak was something he had never felt. He was definitely a love ‘em and leave ‘em type of guy._ _

__The keeper threw back his head and laughed out loud. At the quizzical look on John’s face Eros began to explain. “You head might believe what you are saying but it is too late for your heart.”_ _

__“What do you mean?”_ _

__“Answer me this.” With a smile on his face Eros continued, “Do you honestly believe you don’t want to fall in love?”_ _

__With a moment’s hesitation John nodded. “Yes, I do.”_ _

__Peals of laughter erupted from Eros’ throat once more before he quickly schooled his features into contrite lines. “I’m sorry.” He apologized before he added, “But you are already in love with Ronon Dex.”_ _

___What?_ John’s mouth gaped open, his eyes widened as he stared stunned at the man in front of him. This time it was John’s turn to laugh at the absurd notion. There was no way in hell he was in love with Ronon and he said as much._ _

__“Really?” Eros waited for John to nod emphatically before he began to present his case. “From the moment you began to open the doors you were shown your past lovers just as the Hall of Dreams was meant to.”_ _

__John nodded again. “And?”_ _

__“Have you now or have you ever been Ronon Dex’s lover?”_ _

__A confused look slowly began to slip across John’s cheeks. As much as he would have liked to have been unfortunately the answer was no._ _

__Once again the man named Eros seemed to read his mind. “Then that is your answer.”_ _

___Wait. What?_ John didn’t get it. “What? What answer?”_ _

__“The Hall of Dreams shows you your past and present lovers in order to show your other half.” Eros paused to make sure John was paying attention to the most important part. “It does not show you what you wish to see or your fantasies.”_ _

___Huh?_ _ _

__Eros breathed a deep sigh. Apparently John still didn’t get it. He didn’t know how to make it any plainer but he had to try._ _

__“You have already seen your first times and quite a few other times that may I say kudos to you.” The man had a sex life that would make any of the ancient gods burn with envy. _Hell he had to admit he was a little jealous himself._ Eros gave himself a mental shake. He knew better than to comment on a man’s sex life. “Let’s say you find me attractive.” _How could he not I’m to die for?_ Eros smiled temptingly. “But you and I have never...” He let the ending remain hanging in the air between them unsaid. “Now you are in the Hall of Dreams. If you open a door and you don’t see us together that would mean I am indeed your fantasy destined to exist only in your dreams. However if you open the future doors and you see us entwined in a lovers’ embrace that means I’m your other half.” At John’s stunned silence he added, “I would be willing to bet you that behind the rest of your doors you will only find your Ronon Dex.”_ _

__“He’s not my....” John let his voice trail off at that depressing thought. As much as he might say otherwise there was a part of him, a huge part of him that wanted nothing more than Ronon. Without another word John turned away and began to open doors at random. After each one he would blush, shut the door and quickly walk to another._ _

__For the next fifteen minutes John opened door after door hoping he would find someone new behind each one. But it was to no avail. Each door he opened had some version of him and Ronon doing things he had only dreamed of in his wildest wet dreams._ _

__Desperately, John rushed down the hall. There had to be a door or two that didn’t have... He couldn’t be in love with... In his experience relationships only ended in pain and suffering. He valued Ronon’s friendship too much to want to lose it._ _

__He knew John harbored doubts, was even petrified of love and commitment but it didn’t change anything. “It doesn’t matter how far you go or which door you open, John.” Eros’ voice was harsh with exasperation. “Ronon Dex is your other half.” _Why was the man being so stubborn? What could have possibly soured him on love?__ _

__John stopped abruptly in front of the last door in the Hall. It looked different than the others somehow. The colors were softer, not quiet completely faded but not as bright as the other doors. Almost of its own accord John’s hand reached out to clasp the doorknob._ _

__Eros was so lost in his thoughts that he almost missed John stopping in front of the very last door in the Hall. “No. John. Stop.” He yelled as he began to sprint down the hall towards John. The last door was only permitted to be opened by those who had been told what they could expect. It showed the end of their life with their other half. Not everyone was meant to or could handle what they would see. Deep worry lines seem to carve in his forehead as he began to run faster. He hadn’t prepared John for the end. “Don’t open the....” But it was too late._ _

__At first John was confused as he stared into the room that the Hall had revealed to him. Where he had expected to see a bed with his and Ronon’s naked bodies entwined in the throes of passion instead they were sitting on a small loveseat with their hands clasped together quietly talking._ _

__“It didn’t happen.” John’s voice while quiet seemed to echo loudly in the almost silent room._ _

__Ronon stared at him with a look of confusion on his face. “What?”_ _

__“Although you never said,” John began to explain. “I knew you were worried about the ‘second childhood’ of your people.”_ _

__He didn’t say anything but only nodded his head. There had been a time in his life when he had been worried about suffering from the dreaded ‘second childhood’ of his people especially as he had gotten older but thankfully it had never come to pass. He had gotten to enjoy and remember every single memory he had ever created with John._ _

__“It wouldn’t have mattered if it had.” The words were so low it was almost a mumble beneath John’s breath._ _

___What?_ Ronon’s white hair whipped around his face as he turned to stare at John with a look of horror on his face. “I would have forgotten you.” It was one of the worst things he could ever imagine._ _

__“I would have remembered for the both of us and I would have reminded you every single day.” John tightened his fingers around Ronon’s as if he were trying to convey the depth of his feelings in a touch. “And just so you know I would have loved you enough for the both of us.” His lips curved into a smile as he softly added, “I already do.”_ _

__Ronon could almost feel the blush that quickly began to steal across his cheeks and quietly cursed the signs of age. When he was younger he could have hid the things that John made him feel but now everything was out in the open. Even now near the end of their time together and with mere words John still had the power to make him feel things he had never thought was possible. Ronon drew a shaky breath before he whispered softly. “I’ve loved you since the moment we met.”_ _

__The grin on John’s face widened as he quietly teased in return, “I know. I’ve loved you just as long.”_ _

__With a smile Ronon echoed John’s words. “I know.” The big Satedan’s hand, weathered with age tightened around his. “Are you worried?”_ _

__John didn’t have to ask what he meant they both knew exactly what was going to happen. “No. I’m never worried when I’m with you.” As long as they faced it together that was all that mattered._ _

__“I...”_ _

__Before John could witness what was about to happen between his and Ronon’s future selves Eros roughly grabbed his arm, jerked him out of the room and quickly shut the door behind them._ _

__“Hey!” John glared at the man. “Why did you do that?”_ _

__Eros glared back. “That was not for you to see.”_ _

__“Then why was it here?” The almost angry words fell from his mouth before he could stop them. He’d gone from not believing Ronon could be his other half to desperately wanting to know how they ended._ _

__It was all Eros could do not to... He took a deep breath calming breath. “As I’ve said. The Hall of Dreams shows the part of your life to help you find your other half and your ending together. It combined with all of the other rooms prove beyond doubt the identity of your other half.” At the narrow eyed look John was giving him Eros quickly added, “You were not prepared to see that particular room nor the ending it contained.”_ _

___How could he know that?_ “So prepare me now.” John demanded. He had to get back in that room. He needed to know how it ended._ _

__“I’m sorry. But that’s just not possible.” Eros shook his head._ _

__“Why not?”_ _

__A muscle began to tick in Eros’ jaw. “Because you ignored my warning and opened the door anyway. You’ve already witnessed everything you’re allowed to see.” At the determined look on John’s face he knew exactly what was going through the other man’s mind and quickly added, “Even if you opened the door again right now you wouldn’t see anything. There is nothing there left to see.”_ _

___What? There had to be more than that._ “How do we end?” _ _

__Eros opened his mouth to reiterate what he had just said but the look on John’s face brought him up short. He told himself he was being rash. _Rules were rules, after all._ But he couldn’t stop himself from giving John the answer that he sought. “Why together of course.”_ _

__As much as John might want to deny it there was no way that he could. Ronon was his other half, his soulmate. A horrible thought occurred to John. _What if now that he believed Ronon didn’t? Or worse yet what if Ronon didn’t have any feelings for him whatsoever?__ _

__It was all Eros could do not to roll his eyes. Honestly, if there was one thing not to worry about it was Ronon’s feelings. “I wouldn’t worry too much about that if I were you.”_ _

__John didn’t even bother to ask how Eros had known what he was thinking. “Why not?”_ _

__Without a word Eros waved his hand and a small portal opened. It was just big enough for John to see Ronon sitting on the bed beside him encouraging him to open his eyes._ _

__“But that doesn’t prove anything. Ronon could...”_ _

__Eros put his fingers to his lips and whispered, “Shh.”_ _

__“Why?” John quickly lowered his voice. “Can he hear us?”_ _

__“No.” Eros shook his head. “Just listen.”_ _

__John fell silent as he waited with baited breath for Ronon to say something._ _

__

___“Come back to me, John.” Ronon leaned over and brushed a lock of hair away from John’s eyes before he lowered his forehead to his. His warm breath caressed John’s skin as he whispered, “Please.”_ _ _

__

__As Eros closed the window John raised his hand to his forehead in wonder. “I felt that.”_ _

__A satisfied smile curved Eros lips. “Of course you did. He is your other half.” His smile widened. “Now do you believe it’s the truth of it?”_ _

__He couldn’t have denied it if he wanted to and he found now he didn’t want to. “Yes.” John gave him an answering smile. “But what do I have to do now to get back?”_ _

__“You just did it.” With another wave of his hand John disappeared from the Hall of Dreams._ _

__

__

__Slowly John opened his eyes. After all that had happened and not to mention spending the time in the Hall he was a little disoriented and he wasn't quite sure if what had happened wasn't just a dream. He was surprised at the wave of disappointment washed over him threatening to drown him with its intensity at the thought._ _

__"Welcome back." Ronon whispered quietly. He had wanted to give John a little while before he had to start explaining what had happened, but he couldn't do it. His curiosity was too great. "Did you find your other half?" Ronon wasn't so sure how he would react to someone else having a place in John's arms. Especially not after... Ronon quickly shook his head to stop those kinds of thoughts. The last thing he needed to think about was his feelings for John and how they could never be. The most important thing was that John was okay._ _

__“Yes. I did.” John’s eyes were lit with wonder. He still couldn’t believe he had an other half... a soulmate. It just didn’t seem possible. But that wasn’t all that had him dumbfounded. Ronon was his other half. A jolt of pure joy went through him at the thought. Now all he had to do was find a way to tell him. “I...”_ _

__“Wait.” Ronon quickly interrupted before John could tell him who the person was that would take John away from him. “I have to tell you something first.”_ _

__John had thought his news was kind of important but one look at Ronon’s face and he knew it could wait. He nodded his head. “Okay.”_ _

__The room fell silent as John waited for Ronon to tell him what he needed to say. He couldn’t help but wonder what was taking the man so long to speak._ _

__Finally Ronon cleared his throat and began, “For years I have been your friend.” He paused and waited for John’s agreement. At his nod Ronon continued, “I have stood by your side when you needed me. And I have followed you into battle as you commanded. And in all that time I have never protested, never ignored you when you needed me.”_ _

__Once again John nodded. He didn’t understand what this had to do with what he had found out._ _

__Ronon stood and swiftly began pacing the floor. _Damn it._ He knew he was beating around the bush. _Why couldn’t he just come right out and say what he needed to say?_ _ _

__He had never seen Ronon like this before. “What’s wrong?” John winced as he raised up on his elbow. “Tell me what’s the matter. You know you can tell me anything.”_ _

__His heart began to pound harder in his chest. He had to tell him. _This was it. He was going to tell John how he felt._ This wasn’t going to be easy. As a matter of fact he could lose it all including John’s friendship. But he didn’t have a choice. There was no way he could live the rest of his life not knowing if he had done all he could to win the man he loved. Ronon stopped pacing and sat back down on the edge of John’s bed, close enough to touch but he was extra careful not to. “I don’t want to be your friend, anymore.”_ _

___What? Where in the hell was this coming from?_ John’s eyes widened. _How was Ronon supposed to be his soulmate when he didn’t even want to be friends?__ _

__At the look on John’s face he knew the man had gotten the wrong idea. “I’ve watched you for years wondering what it would be like to touch you. I’ve needed you.” Ronon swallowed hard as he leaned down and took John’s face in his hands. “I’ve hungered for you. And....and...” Ronon voice was hoarse with desperation. “And the thought of someone else having you, of being your other half is absolute torture.”_ _

__John’s breath caught in his throat as Ronon ran his thumb across his bottom lip. It took every ounce of his willpower not to stick his tongue out and taste the tempting digit. But somehow he managed to control the urge. “Do you want to know what I saw in the Hall of Dreams?”_ _

__Ronon hid his disappointment behind a soft smile. He had hoped his declaration would change what had happened but apparently it didn’t. “Okay.”_ _

__"Well, behind each door was bits and pieces of my sex life beginning with my very first time to..." John let his voice trail off. There was no point in bringing up all of his past lovers. "But all of the other doors were of you."_ _

__A look of extreme confusion spread across Ronon’s face. “Me?” At John’s nod he added, “I don’t understand.” _How was that even possible?_ “How could I be there? We’ve never...” He would have remembered if they had. It was his fondest fantasy. “I thought the Hall was so that you could find your other half from the people that you have already...”_ _

__“In the Hall of Dreams I saw all of my past, present and future doors.” John didn’t take his eyes off of Ronon as he explained. “And behind all of my future doors that I opened you were there.”_ _

__“Me?” At John’s nod Ronon’s eyes widened as hope caused his heart to beat wildly in his chest. “You want to tell me about what the future you and me were doing behind those doors in the Hall?” Ronon was awash with curiosity._ _

__John’s cheeks turned bright red. He could picture plainly and in vivid detail exactly what had happened between them. But he didn’t want to talk about it. Now was the time for action. “I’d rather show you.”_ _

__Ronon gasped and nodded his head enthusiastically. There was nothing he would like more. But then he remembered John’s injuries and unfortunately now was not the time. “You’re hurt and you’re still healing. And you....”_ _

__Another gasp, this one louder than before broke the brief silence that had accompanied Ronon’s words. It had finally dawned on Ronon just exactly what John had been trying to tell him._ _

__His eyes were wide with shock. “I’m your other half?_ _

__John threw back his head and laughed out loud. “It took you long enough.” He winced as pain shot through him._ _

__At the look of pain on John’s face all thoughts of soulmates left Ronon’s mind. All that mattered was doing something to take away John’s pain. “I’ll get the healer.”_ _

__“No.” John grasped Ronon’s arm to stop him from getting up. “It was nothing. Just a minor twinge of pain. Something to remind me that you were right. I’m not quite healed enough yet.”_ _

__He could see that Ronon had no intention of letting it go and he knew he had to think of something else to get his mind off of the pain he was in. “So.” John began innocently. “How do you feel about being my other half?”_ _

__Joy like Ronon had never known swept through him. John was the one thing he had always wanted and the one thing he had felt for sure he would never get. But now they were.... His utter happiness was short lived as a horrible thought occurred to him. _What if John only felt this way because that was what the Hall had showed him?__ _

__“Stop it.” John knew exactly what Ronon was thinking. It was written all over his face._ _

__“What?” Ronon kept his expression innocent. But apparently it didn’t fool John a bit._ _

__John shook his head. “Don’t give me that innocent look. You know exactly what I’m talking about. You’re wondering if I really feel the way I do or if it was all because of what I was shown in the Hall.”_ _

__Ronon exhaled loudly as he opened his mouth to speak. But before he could say anything John continued._ _

__“From the moment we met I wondered what it would be like to...” John blushed to the roots of his hair. “I wanted you badly. But I knew that you couldn’t want someone like me. One look at you and I could tell you were the permanent kind; the kind of man who deserves forever. Even knowing that didn’t stop me from having fantasies about you.” A sound almost like laughter escaped him. “They were more like wet dreams. Every night, long before I went to the planet Alraign I would wake up with my heart pounding inside my chest and the sheets sticking to my body.”_ _

__Ronon swallowed hard at the images John’s words conjured in his mind. He was completely speechless. He liked knowing he had a recurring role in John’s fantasies but he would love it even more when fantasies become reality._ _

__“Say something.” John encouraged softly._ _

__“Are you sure it’s me, that I’m the one you want forever with?” As happy as he was Ronon couldn’t help the small kernel of doubt that clung to life deep inside of him._ _

__“How could you doubt that?” Before Ronon could answer John held up his hand to stop him. “I get it. I’ve been known to have a lover or two and...” At Ronon’s raised eyebrow John amended, “So I’ve had more than my fair share.” He grimaced as Ronon nodded his head in agreement._ _

__“Why didn’t you ever say anything?”_ _

___That was a fair question. One that he wished Ronon hadn’t asked. What was he supposed to tell him that he had been afraid to risk his heart? That falling in love scared the hell out of him? And back then he knew he could have fallen in love with Ronon. It would have been so easy. That’s why he had to keep his distance. The bad thing was he hadn’t had a clue it was already too late._ Instead of answering Ronon’s question he asked one of his own. “Why didn’t you?”_ _

__“I... uh....”_ _

__John smiled as Ronon stammered. “It’s not easy, is it?”_ _

__Ronon gave him an answering smile and shook his head. “What do we do now?”_ _

__A worried look crossed John’s face. “It depends on what you want to do.”_ _

__He could keep worrying about why the Hall had shown him to John, or whether they really were soulmates or a thousand and one more things but at the hopeful look in John’s eyes Ronon took a deep breath and let it all go. Only one thing mattered to him. “I just want to hold you.”_ _

__A satisfied grin spread across John’s face as he began to carefully slide over to make room for Ronon._ _

__With almost unseemly haste Ronon crawled into bed. He tried not to disturb John too much. The last thing he wanted was to hurt John or to reopen his wounds. It took a few minutes to get situated but finally Ronon was curled around John._ _

__The feel of John’s body lying close to his did things to Ronon that he wasn’t proud of. He had hoped he would have more control over himself than that. But apparently not. “Do you have any idea the things I want to do to you right now?” It took every ounce of his willpower to keep from clapping his hands over his mouth in shock at the words falling from his lips._ _

__“Probably the same things I want to let you do to me.” Desire colored John’s voice as he spoke._ _

__Ronon groaned out loud. There were just some things he didn’t need to know at the moment._ _

__“Before you say anything...” John’s voice was soft as he began to speak. “I wanted you to know that this, what’s between us isn’t just about the potential for great sex.” Although there wasn’t a doubt in his mind the sex was going to be fantastic. “I....” John swallowed hard. Admitting how he felt was hard. He had never really opened himself up to anyone and yet here he was getting ready to say the most important thing he had ever said to anyone before... and he was going to say it out loud where Ronon could hear him. _Damn._ “I...uh...”_ _

__“Hey. What’s wrong?” Ronon stroked John’s cheek with the tips of his fingers. “You know you can tell me anything. Tell me.”_ _

__“Nothing’s wrong.”_ _

__The Satedan leaned closer until their foreheads were almost touching. “Tell me.” He commanded quietly._ _

__A thrill went through John. “I’m in love with you.”_ _

__“John....”_ _

__But John wasn’t finished yet. “And it’s got nothing to do with what I saw in the Hall of Dreams. I have been in love with you for a very long time but I was too... afraid to admit it even to myself.”_ _

__“Be sure, Sheppard. Be very sure.” There was no way he would let John go. He kept what was his._ _

__Another thrill rushed through his body at Ronon’s commanding tone. John swallowed hard before he admitted softly, “I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.”_ _

__A deep possessive growl escaped Ronon as he leaned up and stared into John’s eyes. “I’ve loved you since the moment we met.”_ _

__John’s eyes widened in stunned recognition._ _

__A concern look shaded Ronon’s eyes. "What?"_ _

__"It was something you said in the Hall."_ _

__"What did I say?" Ronon tried to keep the commanding tone out of his voice but he really wanted to know._ _

__"At the end of the Hall there was a door, it was the last one; it wasn't quite as vibrant as the others and for some reason I couldn't stop myself from opening it. I had to see what was inside. I thought I would see you and me in the bed wrapped in each...." John blushed before he quickly cleared his throat and continued, "But instead we were sitting on a loveseat and we were already older."_ _

__"How old were we?" Curiosity colored Ronon's voice as he spoke._ _

__"Very." John paused for a moment. "Your hair was still long but it was snow white. And you still took my breath away." He thought back for a moment. "I got the feeling that we were waiting on something. The caretaker called it our ending but he pulled me out of the room before I could see for sure what would happen next."_ _

__Ronon nodded his head. He was glad John hadn't seen all of it. It wasn't right for a man to know the ending of things. Life was supposed to be full of surprises. But if you knew how it was supposed to end... "So what did I say?"_ _

__"Just before Eros pulled me out of the room, you said the same thing you said to me a few seconds ago. You told me that you've loved me since the moment we met." A small smile played in the corners of John’s mouth. “In that moment I knew the truth of it.” At the quizzical look on Ronon’s face his smile widened as he continued, “That we belong together.”_ _

__An answering smile began to spread slowly across Ronon’s face. “I won’t let you ever forget it.”_ _

__With a tired sigh John’s eyes began to drift shut. “Say it again before the healer comes back.”_ _

__Ronon didn’t have to ask what John meant, he knew exactly what he wanted to hear. Carefully so as not to jostle John too much he gently slid his arms around him. As John with a deeply satisfied smile on his face sighed with contentment and carefully snuggled closer Ronon leaned his head down and whispered softly against the shell of his ear, “I’ve loved you from the moment we met and I’ll love you for the rest of our lives.”_ _

__And that was the truth of it._ _


End file.
